Willing Hands

I paused in the middle of the kitchen floor, rubbing my fingers across the smooth black broom handle in my hands. I could see the trees budding and the flowers blooming outside the window, for spring had come again to Vermont. Usually I enjoyed listening to a favorite CD when I was cleaning or making supper, but this time I wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

Remembering….back to a time when I was a tiny girl, with the big blue eyes and golden ringlets. It was only a split second of memory, but I could still recall pausing by our family’s VCR in the living room one day. My attention had been captured by the words of a missionary on a 3ABN program, stating the lack of workers in some foreign field, and describing the urgent need of truth to those who had no knowledge of God.

Right then and there without hesitation, I told myself that I would go to the darkest, toughest place to work in the world, and shine for Jesus. That someday when I was older, I would labor and give every ounce of my strength and love for others to know Christ.

I had been only seven years old at the time. I knew little of death and woe, or the pain and heartbreak of sin. But I knew the love of Jesus as a child, and that was enough. Enough to know that life wouldn’t be worth living without Him, and I would never be satisfied until His dreams would be fulfilled through my life.

Growing up, my desire to be a missionary only grew stronger. “Someday,” I had told myself, “I will do a great work for Him. And until then, I will be faithful with each task and trial that comes my way.” And as the years rolled by, I grew and became closer to Jesus. I found Him to be my closest friend, my wisest Guide, my tender comforter. And I felt Him calling me to do a special work.

As I thought of these things, I lay aside the broom and began to prepare for supper. I realized that I had already formulated my life plans: finish high school within the next year, take that course in Christian counseling, get married, and then go right off to the mission field. Write books about my experiences, work at 3ABN, start an orphanage….the list went on. There were endless possibilities, and so many things to do. “With every ounce of my being, I want to be in the frontline of the battle,” I told myself. “To strike a blow to Satan’s kingdom of darkness and work against his realm of despair that time and time again crushes those who believe his lies. I want to shed the light of truth, and the glory of Christ’s character to the world - yes, this is my dream!”

But what made me pause and ponder that pleasant afternoon at home, was the thought that maybe my Lord’s plans for me were a lot different than the ones I had formulated during the course of my sixteen years of life. Could it be possible that my idea of working at the “battlefront” was much different than His? Would I be content with dedicating my entire life to something that I considered less exciting, less fulfilling, than what I wanted?

These thoughts demanded my entire concentration. I realized that if I could not be content with God’s dreams for me (no matter what they were) then it would be impossible to make a difference at all - no matter what I did. My work would be worthless. My striving would be in vain.

My mission was to fulfill the Lord’s dreams for my life - wherever He called me. And whether that was to souls held in bondage in far-off India, or to remain in New England, living a quiet life among the people that I had always known there, I would be faithful and content to follow His will.

My parents were expected to return from their shopping at any minute now. The silence was only interrupted by the faint bleat of my sister’s little goats outside in their pen, and the whistle of the wind on our hillside.

As I determined in my heart to be faithful no matter what, I could sense my Master’s presence. I understood that whatever the task set before me - even if it appeared to be too small in my eyes - was a dream that He had called me to fulfill by His grace.

You only have one life to live. This battle is getting yet more intense as time rushes on, bringing us closer to the day when our Lord will come in glory. Set your mark high, and serve Him with every moment, every breath of the soul. Allow Him to shape your destiny and you will never regret it. No task is too difficult - or too small – to accomplish for Him.

Precious Influence

Broad pines creaked as their thick layers of bark trickled with rain water. Droplets fell from lofty branches. Each landed with a decided plunk onto the forest floor, carpeted with lush ferns, dead pine needles, and thriving moss on an occasional rotting tree stump.

I stepped lightly, my thoughts blending with the sound of each quiet "plink - pink - plink" of the gently falling rain. It was late spring and now the trees had blossomed and budded, confidently stating that winter was finally past and a new summer lay ahead for me to enjoy.

“In all of my thirteen years I have never felt so restless,” I thought. “I feel in the mood for something new – something different – and something more exciting than the daily household life that I’ve known for such a long time.” Even though my family did a variety of activities together and we had plenty of socialization, nothing would have been good enough for me at that point. Discontentment had been something that I struggled with in the past, and it was welling up again inside of me.

“I know better than to cherish thoughts of discontentment and discouragement.” A rustling to my right caught my attention as a plump grouse was startled and with a vigorous flapping of feathers, flew to a high pine branch.

Bringing myself back to my train of thought, I walked further down the path. With a sincere heart I prayed simply that God would give me the right spirit to be content no matter what. I longed for more friends - but the Lord had to teach me first that I would never be content without Him placed at the very center of my soul.

Nothing that friends or adventure can offer can take the place of His presence in the heart. Once I realized how precious He truly was, I would never look at life the same again. With this treasure, I could go forward with confidence in His almighty power.

God brought this change to me that He had promised in a beautiful way - through a role model. This person was a quiet young man with the humbleness that makes a person truly great. He defied the world's standard's set for young people in this day and age, and his life was testimony to his devotion to the Lord. I looked up to him and admired his steadfast faith yet more and more as time passed, until he became a hero.

We never talked or so much greeted each other when I saw him at church on highschool breaks. I could only look on and admire His love for Christ and yearn for that same experience in my life.

I sat in church one day, listening to him as he described his mission experience in India.

"In the midst of a strike, waiting on top of a bus for hours and hours - when you have no place to sleep, and all there is to do is to simply wait. As you walk through a steaming jungle, wet and tired and weak. Through it all, you can have peace, knowing that God wants you there. It's all ok - because that is the place where the Lord would have you."

"Am I in the place where God wants me to be?" I pondered. Deep down in my heart, I knew that I was - here in my home, here with my family. If Jesus was my treasure - if he was first and best in my heart, there would be no limit to what He could do through me. From the influence of a godly young person who had not the slightest idea that I had taken his words to heart, I was encouraged and strengthened, and I still haven’t forgotten his words. When I was tested and challenged, I wanted to bear everything with that same courage and fortitude. When I was given chances to witness, his dedication inspired my heart to give everything I possessed for Christ's service.

Don't ever underestimate your sphere of influence. You may never know how your life has touched others, but be sure that you will always have an influence. Whether it will be for good or for evil is determined by yourself. Your very presence - by how you carry yourself, dress, and act - is a representation to the world of your discipleship. One careless slip of your dedication to Christ could alter the course of other’s lives as well as your own.

They may never tell you that they are watching – but be sure that someone is. The whole world is looking on as God’s people are being prepared for the final test of discipleship. Each and every day you are touching other people’s hearts whether you realize it or not: and you never know how much your influence may mean to an unlikely person.

Nearest to Home

“I’ll understand if this is uncomfortable for you, and if you’d rather not answer this question, that’s fine. But tell me, what do you think is the role for a woman according to biblical standards?”

“To raise godly children, be a support to her husband, and keep a household,” I replied.

It was the last morning of the Northeast Youth Retreat at the breakfast table when Dr. Edwin Nebblett joined our group and began to converse with us.

“So, with the knowledge that you have that this is God’s plan, what should you be doing right now?”

“Preparing myself for that role.”

Paraphrasing his counsel, he said: “Start now. Do what lies nearest to home – it is your mission field. Spend time preparing yourself to fill the role God has designed for you to the best of your ability.”

I knew that my mission field was right here, right now, but I realized more clearly how important every learning experience is. Each day brings valuable lessons and opportunities for growth that will shape my character. In the continual and mundane household tasks of cooking, watching the children, and cleaning; in my school work where I have to learn discipline and practice perseverance; I am given golden opportunities for God to prepare me for my own home someday.

But there was another point that Dr. Nebblett brought out which I had never thought of before: my life work will compliment my husband’s work in the future. Whatever his mission is, God will prepare me to stand by him as a support and as a blessing to what he has called us to do.

Every decision that I make – whether I consider it large or small – will still be a building block of my life; molding, shaping, and changing me into the person the Lord wants me to be. The choices I make today – and the choices I make all along the way – will shape my destiny.

"I am not dating until I'm at least eighteen."

He crossed his arms. "So how are you going to know how to date then?"

"Now is the time to cultivate good friendships," I looked him straight in the eye, "and when the time comes I will know what I want. I don't need to "practice" dating."

A year has already passed since my discussion with the high school freshmen from a nearby academy. I didn't understand where he was coming from at the time, or how he had gotten such nonsense into his head at the age of fourteen.

It was months later when I became involved in the academy music program. Quickly I came to the realization that so great was the pressure to pursue a dating relationship that a young person would be fighting an uphill battle in order to remain "single" during the high school years. I repeatedly saw dating relationships and flirtations revolving around me, and this was a striking contrast to what I had always known.

Some dating couples looked somewhat innocent.

"Guess what?" a friendly elementary student looked up at my face, "I have a BF! He's in the locker right now."

I turned to see a stout boy attempting to free himself of the heavy locker door. A small group of kids nearby mischievously giggled as he yelled. I honestly didn't know what to say. She was so happy and joyful, and now I wonder how many tears will spill - or have already - when the boy "breaks up" with her. Some time later I overheard a conversation between her boyfriend and several others, in which they counseled him to "drop at least one of his three dating relationships." I couldn't call that an innocent little dating relationship - the feelings that young Becky experienced were real - and even if her boyfriend didn't care, she would feel pain and loss.

And then there is the opposite extreme of the "school boy/girl" relationships.

"I'm going to re-read "I Kissed Dating Good-bye" again," my homeschooled friend Amber leaned over to me at the potluck table one Sabbath day. We had just gotten back from a performance with the choir and were grabbing a bite to eat.

I smiled. "I've read it twice already."

"You read what?" Silvia, a sophomore, leaned over to hear our conversation.

Hesitating, I wondered what her reaction would be to this book that spoke so strongly against the very mistake she was making by dating at fifteen.

"I Kissed..." my voice faded, studying her face.

"...Dating Good-bye," Amber finished for me.

Silvia slightly turned away with expressionless features, and then back again. "I read the first chapter, and I think it emphasizes the negatives of dating rather than the positives," she replied.

I scooted my chair forward, sensing a lull in the table conversation and realizing that this may be an opportunity to share my convictions.

"So do you believe the positives of dating outweigh the negatives?" I asked carefully, fully aware that I was treading on a thin sheet of ice. Every young person around me at the table (excluding Amber) was either in a dating relationship or "liked" someone.

"Well I believe dating has had a great positive effect on me," Jessica, a recent high school graduate joined the conversation. Silvia willingly let the eighteen-year-old answer my question. "I've had other dating relationships before this one, and they have greatly strengthened my character," she continued.

Her sixteen-year-old boyfriend stood nearby, pushing buttons on her new iPod.

"But doesn't it hurt - when you break up?" I asked.

"Not anymore. It has greatly strengthened me."

Strengthened this girl - what about hardened her? Had she seriously come to the point in which breaking up didn't hurt anymore? How could anyone be proud of that?

People had begun to move away and clean up after the potluck, but Silvia and I kept up a conversation.

"Do you think that the majority of the relationships here at this school are serious? Do you think people really intend to marry the person that they are dating?" I asked.

"You can tell who is serious, and who isn't," she replied.

We rose from the table and sauntered to the side of the gymnasium.

"Well for myself, personally, I will wait, and when I do begin to "date," you can be sure that I'll be serious," I carefully let her know my convictions.

She nodded.

"I don't want to be like," I lowered my voice, "Jessica, for instance, who has become so calloused to her feelings that it doesn't hurt anymore."

I wished that I could tell them what a big mistake they were making, but I knew they wouldn't listen. Caught up with the endless roller coaster of crushes, flirtations, going out, and breaking up, these young people were wasting precious time that could have been used instead to bring honor and glory to God. The sad thing is one day when these people get married, they will be so accustomed (as was Jessica)to guard themselves against hurt and pain, that it may take a struggle to place their heart in the hands of their spouse - if they had much of it left at all.

God looks upon us with great love and tenderness, and His heart must hurt Him when we make the wrong choice. As much as He wants to guide our hearts, He can't if we don't let Him. The world's dating scheme doesn't have to be ours - we can stay uninvolved in the first place, and someday - in God's timing - we can approach a healthy, godly, relationship knowing that we have the Lord's blessing.

I applaud my friends who want something better than what the world offer, who choose to keep their hearts whole and pure for the person God has planned for them. I admire you for winning an “uphill battle” against the popular trends of the time by choosing God’s way and waiting for His ultimate plan to be perfected in you.

The ultimate purpose in life is to serve God and to spread the gospel. There is no loosing when it comes to following Him. Won't you trust your heart in His hands?

I heaved the huge pan from the stove top and carried it to the tub. "Foreign frontier mission-preparation," I thought to myself with a grin, scooping up water from the basin to wash my hair. Our furnace strangely stopped working the day before, and we hadn't had hot water since. "I'm so glad that my parent's trip to China was delayed after all," I thought. What would Amy and I have done when we no longer had hot water or heat? I would have had enough trouble calling the plumber, much less identifying the real problem.



It was late August when my parents received an email with the dates for their departure to China. We were all very eager to get our new brother Jonathan, and with growing excitement my parents shopped, packed, and received advice from other adoptive parents that had made the long plane trip to China and back. But then - we faced bitter disappointment. The consulate in China put us off, and instead of my parents leaving in 5 days, they were leaving at some unknown point in the future - possibly a month from then. "Why?" we wondered, "how could this be? Is this God's leading or the result of life's necessary trials?" I was comforted that the Lord indeed had a plan, and that this was just one piece of the puzzle, even though it didn't make sense.



It was days after our family's disappointment when we faced a new, emerging problem: our Quarter Horse Molly. Twice she spooked for no apparent reason as my mother and cousin rode her, and even though the mare had great ground manners, she acted resistant when ridden. I was surprised to find that she was no longer the slow poke lesson horse that I had known before - now she was sensitive, touchy, and irritable. We invited a trainer to come and try Molly out, and I was shocked to watch the horse buck, rear, and jerk her head as the trainer gently worked with her. We hadn't finished paying for the Quarter Horse, and it was providential that we found out before October when we would have to pay the rest. Was this yet another reason why my parents' trip to China was postponed?

And last but not least, a suicidal, drug addicted individual at large, is in the area running from the police. This by no means makes us feel secure, and is yet another reason why my parents are thankful that their travel date for China was delayed.

Molly was returned to her owner, the furnace was fixed, and we don't know about the criminal but we feel safe with our parents here.



God had a plan, and we trusted Him even though we did not understand. My parents are preparing again for their departure, and with the crisp breezes rippling the trees which are now turning faint colors of yellow, red, and orange, so comes the winds of change as well. Another fall has come to New England, and with it I have learned many valuable lessons. Maybe one of the most challenging to learn, is complete trust in the total unknown. It is encouraging to see how God works everything out for the good, even though it was unfortunate that my family's trip was delayed. But I am determined to trust ultimately in my Heavenly Father, even though I won't always understand. I can have faith that He holds all the pieces to the big puzzle.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

I was only two years old when I met Katie, a cute redhead at campmeeting. At first I remember us pacing the grass outside of her house when we were tiny, wistfully staring at each other and pondering in our little minds what to say. As time passed, we graduated from our shyness and got to know each other much better. Katie's younger sister Tory, and my sister Amy would suspend jump-ropes from their top bunk and we older girls slid under the bed to tie stuffed animals to the bottom handles. Together we became involved with music and everyone tackled recorder, dressing up as angels and playing a special music near Christmas time. Our golden headbands and belts were tickly and itchy, and soon we had to file out of the pew and change. Our family's took adventurous walks in the summer, vigorous sledding parties in the winter, and had camp-outs together in the fall.

As the years passed we girls emailed and chatted, living in the pure joy of true friendship. The memories will go on and on. We had so many adventures together! I remember a cold winter day and a particular slide which sent Amy and Tory right on top of each other. They were laughing so hard, they appeared to be a mass of giggles resting in a heap in the white snow. And the time when we got lost together, ran from a swarming nest of ground bees, and ended up in someone's backyard in town. We enviously passed by a woman sipping a luscious glass of lemonade on her front porch and satisfied our appetite with sour crabapples as we trudged up our road. Taking a walk, we giggled and stuck ferns and flowers in our dad's back pockets as they talked together. I remember when, more recently, we girls gave a special music at their church and the microphones screeched like I've never heard before. The memories went on and on.

Last Sabbath, we finally gathered together to say good-bye. This family - our friends for almost my entire life - were taking a journey across the country to go to academy. We took a Sabbath walk, wandering through the woods and found a winding dirt road up Tucker Mountain. When we got to the top of the hill, we rested together and refreshed ourselves with the beautiful view. Yet there was a trace of sadness as we rested together, because we knew this was the last walk we would take in a long time. At home we sang a few songs together, and my fingers lingered over the piano keys as the last strains of harmony ceased.

After saying a tearful good-bye, we watched our friends walk to their car. I could only wave and watch them leave. In a way I felt that I was saying good-bye to those past years of childhood, and that things would never be the same again. Again I faced reality: life is full of change. Some change brings us pure joy, and some brings us heartache and pain. But through it all, Christ calls me to surrender all to Him and ultimately trust in His perfect plan. Friendship is a beautiful gift that God grants us, and I have learned how precious it truly is. I want to thank each and every one of you for being my friends. Let's live next door in heaven.

He Cares

"Abby!"

I roused myself from the depths of "The Story of Redemption" to hear Papa's voice calling me from the other side of the basement.

"Yes?"

There was a quick silence and I strained to hear what he was saying over the noise of his huge box fan which he kept in his window.

"Can you hear it?"

I dashed down the short hall to Papa's half of the basement.

"Can you hear it?" he repeated.

"What?"

"Listen."

Sure enough, that troublesome cricket had escaped. I have always held a fascination for all of God's creatures, and just recently I had found myself juggling eight small-mouth bass in my fishtank, one fearsome crayfish, and two crickets. After a night where my grandfather couldn't sleep from the chirping, I decided to release the little creatures, but to my dismay, I found that they had escaped. Now somehow one of my crickets had made its way into Papa's room.

He turned on the light, and I searched frantically to find the insect, but it had stopped chirping.

Wearily I walked back to my room and waited to hear the chirping again as Papa turned off his light. Sure enough, soon the little feller was making shrill chirps echoing through my grandfather's room.

"Lord, please help me find it," I prayed, knowing that it was nearly impossible to find a cricket in his many bookcases, crevices, desks, and so on. Thankfully the chirping continued with the light on. And then I saw it, chirping away on top of Papa's desk. After several grabs, I caught the cricket in my hands. "I got it!" I announced triumphantly.

"Thank you honey," my grandfather sounded relieved as he prepared to go back to bed and turn off the lights.

I let my cricket jump out into the cool night air with a smile. He joined the many other crickets outside as I slid "The Story of Redemption" back to the usual place under my bed.

Not a day seemed to pass but that I realized all over again: God cares about the little things. He cares about the little cricket to the horse that our family is getting. He cares about the little trials just as much as the long, hard struggles. Knowing how Jesus cares about every little thing in my life cautions me to be careful even in the things that don't appear to matter. Whether I prove faithful to Him in the little trials of life determines the final outcome of this battle for my heart. To know that God cares for me and my future, inspires me, convicts me, and gives me courage. I can face whatever lies ahead when I know that He ultimately cares and will do everything in His power to take me to His kingdom.